I’ve been having a problem lately at work. Waking up. No, I don’t mean waking up from sleep, but from a definite stupor. At work every now and then, and with growing frequency, I feel like I suddenly become acutely aware that I am chopping lettuce or what not. The feeling is akin to waking up in a place other than your bed after having partied a little to hard the night before, trying to sort out where you are and where your shirt is. In this case, I’m not really looking for my shirt, but why I’m wearing an apron. And why am I risking my safety for someone else’s dinner? Didn’t I go through this already?

I take this whole thing to be a bad sign. If I’m starting to “wake up” so to speak from what I’m doing and not understand why I’m even there, my time is coming to a close. Unless they make drastic changes at work, I’ll be gone before it snows. Even looking at the practical side, I should find a way out. It’s not helping me move on with my life. I barely make enough money to get by. My sanity is in danger every moment I am there. And I can’t make plans due to lack of time, knowledge of when I’ll get out, or even lack of money. This isn’t good.